So I was talking with Friend A, and she helped inspire me to write a short story about a man with PTSD and a cat. I have two cats of my own, so I won’t need to do any research on felines XD I’ll need to research PTSD though because it will be a central point to the story. But they will help each other heal. I love cats, so it will be a fun story to write. I actually got my two cats to help me cope with my chronic pain, and they have helped me so much. I don’t know if I want to write it in poetic prose. I also write comedy, which is pretty plain in style. But last time I wrote a comedy, the angst and poetic prose managed to sneak on in there, so I don’t know XD I feel emotions much stronger than normal I believe, so I tend to write characters with strong emotions.
I decided to leave fanfiction for now and just focus on my original stories. I think I’d like to write a full length fantasy novel, but I need to read several fantasy novels before I get started. I was going to wait until I finished my fanfiction novel, but I guess not XD Most of what I read is literature. I’m having fun writing short stories right now because my life is still a bit hectic, and it’s best to start and finish a novel within a year or so. My fanfic story was 200k and spanned five years of time, about 2 of them I was not writing at all. So the style and everything was all over the place. I could have edited it, but why spend so much more time and effort on a story I could never publish or make money off of. I was already writing for free XD Also, I was going back and forth on whether it was worth finishing, and after that huge flame, I decided it wasn’t. I thought I wanted to finish my fanfic story to prove to everyone that they couldn’t keep me down. The flame I got yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg. But then I realized it didn’t matter what they thought of me. They had sucked all the joy I had for fanfiction, and it reflected in my story. I didn’t enjoy writing it anymore, not like I used to. I love to write, so I’ll just play in another sandbox. If they want to try to destroy me, fine, but I won’t be there for it XD Kind of sucks the fun out of bullying I suppose. The best revenge is being happy and moving on.
It’s a bit sad to leave a fandom that I’ve been in for so long, but the characters will always live on in my heart. It was this fandom that inspired me to start creative writing. Also the fandom was dying because it was based on something released many years ago. So all my writer friends in that fandom either left to write other fanfiction, stopped writing, or started writing original fiction. It felt like we had all graduated high school, and while they went off to college, I stayed in my small little town and got a minimum wage job. Nothing wrong with that, but it feels weird and kind of sad. If fanfiction were a person, my relationship with her has been emotionally abusive for some time. And the funny thing is that I remember how it used to be, not how it is now. Over time I will probably dismiss the bad memories in favor for the good ones, at least I hope so 🙂