So I was editing my suicide story, and I was adding stuff to the beginning. For some reason I got the idea of his grief being like a supernova, core collapse followed by an explosion and then turning into a black hole. I talked to Friend A about it, and she said it sounded awkward. So then I fixed it to where his heart disintegrated and a gaping hole was left behind. Then she told me that was worse XD I reread it and totally understood what she was saying. That’s not the image I wanted :$ I reworded the whole thing. I’m so thankful for Friend A. She’s a lot more practical than I am, so that helps a lot because I get carried away with imagery.
Also, I decided not to ever look back at my Fanfiction profile. Last time I looked was this past Sunday. Two people left more hateful reviews since that long one. One was the writer that plagiarized my story, and the other was a friend of hers. Actually the writer that plagiarized me accused me of plagiarizing her, which is ridiculous since my story was 95% complete by the time she even started writing XD I was so upset I could barely function last Sunday. Friend A had been filtering through it for me. This whole week I have been fighting negative feelings. They seep into my thoughts like sewage dumped directly into the ocean. I’ll be thinking about something else, and then my brain switches back to the fanfiction drama, and I have to stop what I’m doing and watch something happy to dilute the toxic thoughts. I talked to Friend A and we agreed it was best to not look back. It isn’t healthy for me, and by letting them upset me, I’m giving them what they want. It’s very hard for me to let go of something I was so proud of and watch it turn into an effigy of hate. That’s why I can’t watch. I can’t control what they do, and I really don’t want to be angry anymore. Much easier said than done!