This weekend I’m participating in a blog hop known as Weekend Writing Warriors. A bunch of writers share 8 sentences from a story they are writing or have written.
This snippet takes place after last week’s snippet. It was about Tifa and Cloud going through their morning routine, but it’s anything but normal.
Nighttime was always the worst. In those few seconds before falling asleep she was defenseless against the monsters of her past, which feasted on her fear and gnawed away at her sanity. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since the day Sepiroth destroyed her village, Nibelheim.
Barely escaping the inferno, she chased after him, legs moving so fast it felt like she was flying amidst the ruins. She followed him into the mako reactor, her feet clunking across the steel floor. He turned around and smirked, his eyes as cold as a Nibelheim winter, the spark of humanity long extinguished. Perhaps she was a fool to think a mere mortal with a mastery of martial arts could take on a demi-god, but she just saw a little girl burnt beyond the point of recognition, and she wasn’t about to let him get away with it. As she wound up to deliver a roundhouse kick, his sword sliced into her flesh like she was made of butter, and she crumpled to the floor.
I just wrote this today (technically it’s a revision) so it isn’t as polished as last week’s :$ If you have been following along you may have made the connection that this is the same event I wrote about earlier from Zack’s point of view. Tifa and Cloud both come from the same village and were childhood friends. What happens after Nibelheim’s destruction changes their lives forever.
I struggled with the tense here because she was kind of having a memory/flashback. If one were being grammatically correct they would add “had” to each verb because the story is already written in past tense, but it sounds so awkward like that. This is something that came up in another short story I wrote, and I used some advice I had read online, start with “he had cooked,” and transitioned into “he cooked.” But I got a few people commenting that was awkward too, so I don’t even know XD I just left it past tense here. Meh. It’s pretty short so I could italicize it, but some people hate that -_____- Any advice on this issue would be appreciated 😀