I did some major reworking of my suicide short story, which included ripping out an 1800 word chunk and rewriting it as something different. I used to have a difficult time throwing away a large chunk of something I had written. Even still, it took me like several drafts of this story to realize that it wasn’t working and I was forcing it in. I think part of that is because I didn’t want to just throw it away. I worked hard on some of those metaphors. So I’ll post some of it here XD
I may end up using it in some form in another story, but I’m 99% sure it doesn’t have a place in this one, so it’s safe to post it for now. These three are from the same snippet, so the first two are connected but the last one isn’t. Just for context, the protagonist’s girlfriend was killed in a car accident. I have some more I might post in the next few days.
“His grief was so immense that it felt like his heart disintegrated, leaving an all-consuming emptiness in its stead. His friends and family were sucked into the void, drained of their energy and affection until they had nothing left to give but apathetic condolences.”
“Alcohol was the only friend he had left. They had been together since his freshman year in college, and over time their relationship intensified. It dulled the pain and made him comfortably numb. After the booze-induced coma wore off, his emotions washed over him like a tidal wave, pulling him under until he was drowning in sorrow. He tried to keep his head above water, but it felt as if he was swimming in wet cement, and he was tired of fighting just to stay alive.”