Weekend Writing Warriors #11

wewriwa

This weekend I’m participating in a blog hop known as Weekend Writing Warriors.  It’s fun.  It’s something I do sporadically when I have the time.  A bunch of writers share 8 sentences from a story they are writing or have written.  If you would like to participate, here is the link: http://www.wewriwa.com/

This snippet comes from a short story of mine that is about a man searching for redemption in this life and beyond.  The resulting non-linear narrative is about his memories, reality, and delusions as he is dying.  Without going into more detail that’s about all I can say XD  This is actually towards the end of the story.

XXX

He washed up on the shore sopping wet with a mouthful of gritty sand. The moon, pale as milk glass, hid among the clouds. He stood up, brushed the debris off of his clothing, and headed towards the lights of civilization. His parent’s house was only a few miles away.

He looked up at the sky. After Emma died the stars had lost their luster. He saw them now for what they really were, molten spheres of plasma floating in the cold expanse of the universe, millions of miles away from each other, utterly alone. It sent a chill down his spine.

XXX

Work has been kicking my butt physically and emotionally so my writing has been sporadic as of late, but things seem to be getting better again.  This snippet comes from a short story I’ve been working on for a while.  I’ve rewritten it like ten times XD  It’s taken that long to get it right.  It finally has the feel that I was looking for when I originally started writing this piece.  I’m working on the final draft right now so I can submit it to a few literary magazines.

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12 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors #11

  1. Wonderfully described! It’s interesting to see the negative effect the stars have on him now. Sorry that work has kept you from writing. School has been doing the same to me. Great snippet!

    • Yeah, I’m a retail pharmacist and there is a steep learning curve, especially since I hadn’t done anything pharmacy related from graduation in 2011 to 2014 due to hip issues. It is what it is :/ Sometimes life takes a backseat to writing and other times writing gets locked away in the trunk while I’m trying to navigate life. Going to school takes a lot of energy. I read that you are trying to finish up your masters or PhD? I have a PharmD so 9 years of college for me. Fun XD In undergrad I studied as I ate, walked, got ready in the morning, fell asleep, etc. I didn’t even have time for video games D: I got into writing during pharmacy school, and I had more time then than I did in undergrad, but college can be intense. How long until you’re done?

      Within the context of the story the stars are symbolic of hope. In the beginning when he commits suicide the night is starless, and one of his happy memories of Emma is of a starry night. This snippet that I posted is towards the end and it’s a delusion as he’s dying. Right after this snippet the stars start to blink out, and what follows shortly is his acceptance of grief, guilt, and self-hatred. Even after hope has died, he learns to forgive himself for Emma’s death. Thanks again for the comment 🙂

      • Your snippet makes more sense to me now. Thanks for clarifying that. As for school, I’ll be finished my Master’s in December, and I’m planning to apply for my PhD. I’d likely go to another school for that. We’ll see how that goes. School hasn’t been that stressful for me, but I’m looking forward to the end of the tunnel.

    • Awww, thanks ^^ I have a tendency to overdo it with description, but I like the way the way the line about the stars turned out 🙂 It came out a bit philosophical by chance. It has a lot more significance in the story. At the beginning when he kills himself it’s a starless night. One of his memories (as he’s dying) is of him and Emma star-gazing. This snippet is a delusion of his as he’s bleeding out from a gunshot wound. The paragraph right after this snippet details the stars disappearing and he’s left all alone, his greatest fear. I might change the first paragraph a bit. Out of context it’s a bit plain, but like I said, I have a bad habit of over-describing and there s already a lot of imagery in the story XD

    • Thanks Teresa 🙂 Was nice to participate again. Seeing everyone else’s writing helps inspire me to write ^-^ Yeah, I liked the line about the stars. I guess the most surprising thing is that it just came to me. Sometimes I spend a long time getting something to sound right :$ I don’t know if I’ll post any more of this until after submitting it to some literary magazines. My first choice, Glimmer Train, accepts blog published fiction, but many literary journals don’t :/ I’m working on the last draft of it (it’s like the 10th draft XD), and I just needed a burst of inspiration to finish it!

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