Poetry: “Remembrance of You”

Remembrance of You

I lie in bed, eyes closed to avoid light’s jagged edge,

my mind blazing with thoughts of you.

Years have passed since I last saw you.

The features of your face are fading into a blur.

The scent of roses wafts through the air

and pervades my thoughts,

but only for a moment.

Memories tarnished by time.

Your fingers interlaced with mine.

Salty skin that smelled of patchouli and amber.

The low timbre of your voice as you said, “I love you.”

The buzz of silence is maddening, cutting into my thoughts, and my eyes snap open.

In my heart the fire still flickers, the flames licking at my sanity.

As desire swells I cannot escape

my burning passion for you.

The scent of roses turns rancid,

and my eyelids grow heavy

 thinking of you.

***

I originally wrote this many years ago before I even started creative writing.  I revised it recently.  I’m not a poet by any means though XD  If anyone has any thoughts, advice, or constructive criticism you are welcome to share 🙂  I keep going back and forth on the line “Memories tarnished by time,” and “My memories are tarnished by time.”  I think the latter is grammatically correct, but it doesn’t flow as well with the rest of the poem.  I love poetic prose, but poems are very different from short stories and novels.  Maybe I’ll try to write some more poems in the future.  Guess that means I have to incorporate some poetry into my reading.

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8 thoughts on “Poetry: “Remembrance of You”

  1. Ooooh, do you have a link? Sounds like it might be fun 🙂 Takes me so long to write a short story of substance but a haiku challenge might be fun. Just pulled out my Literature textbook from college and it has a bunch of haikus.

  2. That’s so beautiful. Writing poetry is so different from short stories. I’ve only managed two or three in my entire life. 🙂 I’m voting for “Memories tarnished by time” too. It doesn’t sound too wordy.
    In a totally unrelated topic….I mentioned you on my blog https://invisibleworldd.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/has-it-been-a-year-already/
    I’m highlighting some of the best comments I’ve received over the past year and yours was one of them (or two of them actually). Just thought you might want to check it out. Thanks for the awesome comments!

    • I don’t know, this poem still seems awkward to me XD I’ll come back to it later. My ability to write delicate prose is much better than my poetry skills >_> I don’t read or write much poetry, so that is probably why, lol.

  3. Pingback: A Year of Commentition: A Retrospective | I Read Encyclopedias for Fun

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